News!

We are pleased to announce that we are adding baby #3 in September or early October. All four of us are thrilled about the new addition. Blaire insists that it is a girl and Presleigh is in the boy camp.

I have been feeling pretty up and down, with very little energy which right now is a bit problematic as we have just purchased a new home and are planning on moving next week. The bonus is I am exempt from the "moving" duties, but I am not looking forward to packing and unpacking boxes.

That said, we are excited about our new digs. While it is a modest home, it is going to be much more suitable for our needs. We are going from 2 bedrooms to 5 and 1 bathroom to 3. I can't wait to be able to take an uninterrupted bath(i.e. no little girls needing to potty, while I am in the tub). Plus, the neighborhood is awesome!

Blaire's Christmas Pictures

I am terribly embarrased to say that I got Christmas pictures of Blaire but not of Presleigh. I set up my "studio" while Presleigh was sleeping so I could do a photoshoot. Blaire was my quinee pig with some new lighting.

Trying new things!

I am trying my hand at some flash photography. I love to take pictures of babies and children but my house does not lend to good natural light. My husband ordered me some flashes and so I got my favorite 4 year old model all dressed up in her Christmas dress from last year and we played! These were my two favorite!




Hopefully I will get the chance to get some of Presleigh in the next couple of days!

Loss

We were blessed to find out we were expecting a baby. We were thrilled at the news and started making a plan of attack as to how to make room for the new baby given that we live in a smaller home.

We were getting bunkbeds ready and had talked the girls about getting a new baby brother or sister.

Unfortunately, this past week I started experiencing some complications and found out that the baby had not grown past 2 weeks gestation. We were devastated. The last couple of days have been an emotional rollercoaster. I have grieved the loss of my mom and I understood that kind of loss, but this is very different and I am not sure at this point if I can put it into words what I am feeling except I was in love with that little clump of cells that most likely never even developed a heartbeat. I was in love with the baby I imagined it to be. Though a clump of cells it was very much my baby and had life though for only a short amount of time.

How I imagine that baby now. She is with Jesus and my mom has that baby in her arms in her perfect little body.

Katelynn LeighAnn!

Katelynn is here! My 3rd and last niece. I feel a little sad about that but, I am so glad to have 3 healthy happy nieces and nephew. We were in Colorado Springs when she was born though we waited until the morning to see her. We spent the weekend in and out of the hospital and playing with my niece Elli and nephew Asher. We had so much fun.

My dad was able to be there and it was such a treat to spend some time with him and my kids. They adore him and could not get enough of him. There is nothing like hearing your children play with their Papa. Blaire was thrilled to pieces to see him and Presleigh warmed up to Papa right away.

It was such a wonderful time to share in the birth of one of my nieces, since the other two were born in Missoula, and I had to wait until I had a break to travel to see them. I feel so blessed and can't wait for my sister to come and join us when our baby 3rd baby is born!

Conferences!

Today, I sat on the other side of the table. I was the mom listening to the teacher tell me how they thought MY child was doing. While I knew generally that Blaire was doing just fine, I was a little nervous to hear someones evaluation of my child, my precious baby girl.

Please don't take me as a parent that feels that their child does no wrong. I know good and well that is not the case. But, I wasn't sure how I would feel if the teacher had an issue with her or had something to "discuss". Thankfully, today was not the day that happened. She had a great report. But, it helped me to understand a little how my parents feel when they come into my room.

What do I do?!

This past summer we went to Southeast Missouri to visit my grandparents. While we were there it was pretty evident that my grandfather was not doing as well as he had been doing. He would normally get on the floor with the kids(albeit sore the next morning) and play with them. This time there was none of that and while I can't even tell you what else was different, I could just tell.

Well, the past few weeks, my grandfather has been in an out of the hospital. They seemed to have stabilized him but he doesn't seem to be bouncing back like we had hoped. After a diagnosis of congestive heart failure and the evidence of prior and recurring strokes, it is hard to say what the timetable is. This I do know, our bodies are only temporary, and my grandfather knows he will be with Jesus and my mother in Heaven in a new body! Praise God!

I however, seem to be in a constant state of ponder, frustration and worry all in one. After my mom passed away, my grandparents made the decision to move back to Missouri. While they do have some family that is helping to care for them, I feel very discontented that I am not the one helping my grandma care for my grandpa. I know that the decisions that have been made were not ones I had any control over but this is not helping my present state of mind.

I feel on the very edge of loosing it. With everything else I am trying to balance, this feels a little like the straw that broke the camels back. I know that God will not give me more than I can handle. But for those of you who read this that pray, I could use some extra support in prayer right now. I am struggling.